The last time Gu Qingfeng had seen Jun Xuanji was within that so-called Original Sin Nightmare.
Jun Xuanji had said that between Heaven and Earth, there were many drops of the Blood of Original Sin, and many people of Original Sin.
She herself was one of them—not only a person of Original Sin, but one who had also once fused with a drop of the Blood of Original Sin.
The only difference was this: Jun Xuanji said the drop of the Blood of Original Sin she had fused with was the only one that had undergone a mutation, the only drop that was alive.
At the time, Gu Qingfeng had asked what the difference was.
Jun Xuanji said that only a living drop of the Blood of Original Sin was truly the Blood of Original Sin in the fullest sense, and only a living drop possessed life.
Jun Xuanji had also said that if she were to awaken this living drop of the Blood of Original Sin, it would awaken the spiritual will of Original Sin itself. At that time, she might become the Incarnation of Original Sin, a second source of Original Sin.
Jun Xuanji had also once said that she had no past life, that all people of Wu Dao had no past lives—they were cursed by Karma.
She had also told him not to believe in Karma, that Karma was false.
She said someone wanted her to become the Incarnation of Original Sin.
Whether it was Karma, or Fate, or Original Sin itself… she didn't know.
She had forgotten. She only knew that everything, everything had already begun. It began when Gu Qingfeng fused with that drop of the Blood of Original Sin, when he set foot on this path of seeking Karma.
She had also told Gu Qingfeng not to lose himself, especially not to lose himself on the path of Karma. Once lost, he would become the Incarnation of Original Sin.
At the time, Gu Qingfeng had not understood these words of Jun Xuanji.
But since awakening the Blood of Original Sin within his body, it seemed he now understood.
Because he could feel it.
Although it was vague, faint, Gu Qingfeng could truly feel it.
And this feeling grew clearer and clearer as the Blood of Original Sin continuously eroded his flesh and soul.
Perhaps it was truly as Jun Xuanji had said. Once he awakened the Blood of Original Sin, this drop came to life. And once this drop of the Blood of Original Sin revived, he might truly become the Incarnation of Original Sin.
"You can feel it, can't you?
You must be able to feel it. You must."
Jun Xuanji gazed at Gu Qingfeng, murmuring softly, "It's destined. Everything is destined."
Gu Qingfeng also looked at her. "If you want to kill me, you can do it now. There's no need to wait for Wudao Mountain to descend."
"Kill you?"
Jun Xuanji shook her head slightly, seeming deeply lost. "I don't know if I should kill you, or if I ought to kill you. I don't even know if I want to kill you. I don't even know if it would end all this. I want it to end… yet I also don't want it to end…
I know why I want it to end, but I don't know why I don't want it to end."
"I've forgotten…
And I'm lost…" Jun Xuanji's eyes were hollow as she gazed at Gu Qingfeng, her voice soft. "Perhaps it's precisely because of this confusion and Wandering that I chose to forget, chose to be lost…"
"You are also confused, also Wandering, aren't you?
You also don't know how to choose, do you?"
Faced with Jun Xuanji's question, Gu Qingfeng fell silent.
Indeed.
The Gu Qingfeng of today was indeed confused, indeed Wandering. The truth was just as Jun Xuanji said—he also didn't know how to choose.
He had asked himself more than once in his heart:
If, when Wudao Mountain descends, his very existence truly would trigger the opening of the Karmic Black Hole, truly would cause the Karmic Curse to descend, truly would cause him to become the Incarnation of Original Sin… what should he do then?
Let it happen? Or what?
To be honest, Gu Qingfeng didn't care about severing the Three Thousand Great Daos. He didn't care about destroying Heaven and Earth.
He only cared about those he cared for.
If he severed the Three Thousand Great Daos and destroyed Heaven and Earth, where would those he cared for go?
Would they be affected by the Karmic Black Hole and the Karmic Curse?
He didn't know.
Gu Qingfeng truly didn't know.
"Promise me one thing, okay?"
Jun Xuanji suddenly asked.
Gu Qingfeng was puzzled. "What thing?"
"When Wudao Mountain descends, no matter what choice you make, kill me first, okay?"
Hearing this, Gu Qingfeng's heart jolted violently.
These words were so familiar to him, yet also so strange.
He still remembered clearly—Yun Nishang had once said such words to him.
Feng Zhuyue had also said such words to him.
Tang Heng had said them too.
Even Canyang Wuyou had said them.
And now, Jun Xuanji was saying the same thing.
"Why?"
"I want release…"
"Killing you would bring release?"
"Perhaps."
"Perhaps?"
"Perhaps."
"If even you yourself aren't certain, and I kill you but you find no release, then what?"
Jun Xuanji didn't answer this question. She simply continued to gaze at Gu Qingfeng, her eyes growing increasingly complex, increasingly confused and Wandering. She shook her head and said three words: "I don't know."
"If I die, would you find release? Would all this end?"
"I don't know…" After a pause, Jun Xuanji added, "And I won't allow you to die. I told you, I will wait for you on the Mountain of Falsehoods. I will wait for you forever. I know, and I firmly believe, that one day you will return."
These words were similarly both familiar and strange to Gu Qingfeng. Because within the Original Sin Nightmare, there had been a voice constantly repeating these very words. Who that person was, Gu Qingfeng still didn't know to this day.
She spoke like this, gazing at him like this, saying, "My true self tells me I want to wait for you, wait for you to return. My other self tells me I don't want you to return…
I want this to end. I don't know which one is the real me. I'm lost…
Truly lost…"
"You…
will also be lost…"
"You will too…"
Jun Xuanji's words were always so inexplicable, so mystical. Gu Qingfeng had never understood them, and this time was no exception.
"Before you are lost, kill me, okay?
Consider it doing me a favor, okay?"
Jun Xuanji pleaded once more.
Gu Qingfeng shook his head. "I won't."
"Why?"
Gu Qingfeng stared at her, his expression solemn. "I can't bring myself to do it."
"Why can't you bring yourself to do it?"
"I can't bear to."
"Why can't you bear to?"
This time, Gu Qingfeng did not respond.
And Jun Xuanji did not press further. She stared intently at Gu Qingfeng. After a long, long while, she gently closed her eyes, turned away as if about to leave, and spoke:
"Do you know?
If you can't even bear to kill me, then it means you have already bowed your head to Fate."
"You are a variable. For a variable, Heaven and Earth cannot know you, Fate cannot determine you, Karma cannot follow you. The only one who can know, determine, and follow you is yourself."
"And yet, you, a variable, are more sentimental and righteous than anyone else. Fate perhaps saw through this long ago. That is why you and I have met in this era."