Mo Wentian said that in his entire life, he had only done one thing.
That was to seek out the roots of his own Karma.
Throughout the ages, those who sought their Karmic Roots were not few, for it was said that by grasping one's Karma and severing it, one could not only change their own destiny but also ascend to divinity or sagehood.
However.
Mo Wentian sought his Karma neither to change his fate nor to become a god or a sage.
He sought his Karma for only one purpose: to recover his true self, to find his authentic 'I'.
Concerning the seeking of Karmic Roots, a terrifying legend had always circulated between heaven and earth.
It was said that seeking Karmic Roots was a Road of No Return; once one set foot on this path, there was no turning back. The final outcome was but one: to lose oneself and fall into the Sea of Bitterness.
Mo Wentian was not unaware of this legend. He had heard it, and many, many of his friends had advised him against it more than once, yet he still resolutely embarked upon this Road of No Return to seek his Karma.
He believed that as long as his will was firm enough, he would not lose himself.
He believed in himself.
It was only after setting foot on this Road of No Return that he realized he was wrong—terribly, terribly wrong.
He had overestimated himself and underestimated the terror contained within those two words: Karma.
Initially.
He thought that by seeking only the Karma of his present life, he could find the Karma of his Previous Life.
And indeed, that was the case. He searched through all the Karma of his present life and finally found the Karma of his Previous Life.
He thought that by exhaustively searching through the Karma of his Previous Life, he could find his true self.
However.
When he had searched through all the Karma of his Previous Life, he was shocked to discover that what he had found was not his true self, but the self of his Previous Life, because *that* self also had a life before it.
Thus.
He began seeking the Karma of the life before his Previous Life. He searched through all the Karma and finally found it, only to be utterly crushed to find that even reaching the life before his Previous Life was still not the end, for *that* life also had a life before it.
Though this outcome left him deeply disheartened, he did not give up. He continued seeking the Karma of the life before the life before his Previous Life.
On this journey of seeking Karma, Mo Wentian also discovered something that filled him with immense helplessness.
That was, the deeper he sought his Karma, the deeper his own Original Sin became.
At the very beginning, he could not understand it at all and could not fathom how this was happening.
Later, he gradually came to understand.
He himself was a bearer of Original Sin.
And Original Sin was itself formed from erroneous Karma.
In other words, he, this erroneous 'fruit,' went searching for the erroneous 'cause,' which would in turn form another erroneous 'fruit.' The further he walked on this path of seeking Karma, the deeper his Original Sin would sink.
Unfortunately.
By the time Mo Wentian realized this, it was already too late.
Because he had already walked very, very far on this path of seeking Karma, and his own Original Sin had sunk very, very deep. There was simply no turning back anymore.
He had regretted it.
And even tried to make amends.
He had even considered undergoing Reincarnation.
But in the end, he ultimately gave up.
He knew that if he underwent Reincarnation, it would not only be of no help but would instead cause him to sink even deeper on this path of seeking Karma.
Mo Wentian knew he could no longer turn back; he could only grit his teeth and continue seeking his Karma.
As he walked further and further on this path, his own Original Sin grew deeper and deeper.
From the initial innate Original Sin.
To the Original Sin Dharmakaya, then the Original Sin Sambhogakaya, the Original Sin Nirmanakaya…
Finally, he lost himself…
Lost his Ego…
He didn't know whether he was lost within the Karma itself or lost within the Original Sin. He only knew he was lost…
He didn't know who he was, nor which one was truly himself.
Was the self from his Previous Life the real him?
Or was the self from the life before that the real him? Or the self from the life before that?
Or was Original Sin his true self?
He did not know.
Mo Wentian knew nothing.
He didn't know what he had done during his period of being lost, how many years he had experienced, or where he had gone—he knew none of it.
He didn't even know how he later recovered his self-awareness. The only thing he knew was that when he regained his self-awareness, he found that he had already undergone Reincarnation and had already become an Original Sin Dharmakaya.
Perhaps he had recovered his self?
Even now, Mo Wentian was not clear. He didn't even know whether, during his seeking of Karma, it was his present life after Reincarnation that was seeking, or his Previous Life before Reincarnation, or the life before that.
He could no longer distinguish between Previous Life and present life, nor could he tell whether it was a case of 'Previous Life cause, present life fruit' or 'present life cause, Previous Life fruit.'
He was bewildered.
And adrift.
He even suspected that he might have never truly recovered his self, that he was still lost even at this very moment.
He did not know.
Truly did not know.
Mo Wentian spoke while drinking, his expression complex, his eyes and tone all the same, each without exception radiating boundless confusion.
Beside him.
Ren Tianxing listened silently, as did Gu Qingfeng.
When Mo Wentian finished speaking, the two of them exchanged a glance, and both saw a look of shock in each other's eyes.
Even the cold-blooded and merciless Ren Tianxing, as he listened to Mo Wentian recount these events, saw his complexion change repeatedly, and the corners of his mouth even seemed to twitch slightly twice. As for Gu Qingfeng, he felt a tingling scalp and a creeping dread. The cup of fine wine he held remained suspended in mid-air, untouched from start to finish.
His courage had always been great; rarely was there anything between heaven and earth that could make him feel fear. But this time, after listening to Mo Wentian's tale, he felt afraid from the bottom of his heart—more precisely, a kind of retrospective fear.
Because he too had once tried to seek his Karma.
To be honest.
He too had heard of the terrifying legend about Seeking Karmic Roots, and he knew that throughout the ages, those who sought their Karma had without exception all fallen into the Sea of Bitterness and lost themselves.
Not only had he heard of it, he had living examples right beside him—like Jun Xuanji, like Yun Nichang, like Feng Zhuyue—they had almost all lost themselves because of those two words: Karma.
But as for *how* exactly they had become lost, Gu Qingfeng did not know and could not imagine.
Back when he sought his Karma, both Jun Xuanji and Yun Nichang had appeared to advise him, urging him not to seek his Karma. Besides them, the old monk residing within the Nirvana Bone Jade had also advised him many times not to seek his Karma. Even that mysterious voice from the Great Dao Seed he had inexplicably fused with back then had also told him not to seek his Karma.
Gu Qingfeng had not heeded their advice.
If these people hadn't advised him, perhaps his interest in Seeking Karmic Roots wouldn't have been so great. But with so many people coming to dissuade him, he couldn't help but grow curious; he wanted to see just what would happen when one sought Karma, why all these people were emerging to advise him.
As for losing oneself or falling into the Sea of Bitterness.
Gu Qingfeng wasn't disbelieving; he simply wanted too badly to know his own Karma.
Therefore.
Back then, he stubbornly set foot on Wudao Mountain.
Both to rid himself of Original Sin, to seek his Karma, and to find the truth.