"A...
Mi...
Tuo...
Fo!"
The Old Monk's four-word Buddhist mantra echoed forth, each syllable profound and wondrous, every character brimming with boundless Dharma.
"Dare I ask Layman Gu, is the reason you do not wish to transcend the self truly because you only want to be a mundane mortal of the seven emotions and six desires?"
Gu Qingfeng shrugged and responded without hesitation, "Of course."
"Dare I ask Layman Gu, is the reason you do not wish to transcend the self truly because you only want to be a mundane mortal of the seven emotions and six desires?"
The Old Monk asked the same question again, but this time, Gu Qingfeng's tone was not so certain as he retorted, "Isn't it?"
"Dare I ask Layman Gu, is the reason you do not wish to transcend the self truly because you only want to be a mundane mortal of the seven emotions and six desires?"
For the third time, the Old Monk posed the same query. This time, Gu Qingfeng was far from certain; he hesitated for a long while before finally responding, "Perhaps."
"Dare I ask Layman Gu, is the reason you do not wish to transcend the self truly because you only want to be a mundane mortal of the seven emotions and six desires?"
The Old Monk asked the same question for the fourth time. This time, Gu Qingfeng fell silent for a long time before shaking his head and saying, "I don't know."
"Ai!"
A sigh came from the ethereal Jiemie Mountain as the Old Monk said, "Layman Gu naturally does not know. If you knew, you would not be as lost within the self as you are now."
Yes.
Lost.
And lost precisely within the self.
To be more precise, the Gu Qingfeng of today is lost within the self.
To be even more precise, Gu Qingfeng no longer knows which one is the true 'I'.
He didn't know when it started.
Perhaps after merging with Original Sin, or perhaps during his quest to fathom Karma. As he sank deeper and deeper on this path of Original Sin Karma in the Wu Dao Era, he had reached a point where he no longer knew which one was his true self.
Was his true self the person of Original Sin?
Or the person of Wu Dao?
Or the mundane mortal?
He couldn't distinguish.
At the beginning, when he first started seeking Karma, although he had doubts, they were merely doubts. Nothing more. He could still recognize himself.
But ever since merging with that drop of Original Sin blood, he had become increasingly unable to tell.
Until he ignited the Original Sin Karmic Fire on Wu Dao Mountain, slumbered for ten thousand years, and awakened—then he was utterly, completely lost within the self.
He often wondered if the self he was now was no longer himself, but had already become an Original Sin body, only he didn't know it.
This Original Sin body might not even be an avatar, but a Dharmakaya.
He truly had this feeling, especially after Man Tu Fan said that by igniting Original Sin, he had awakened the slumbering Original Sin. This feeling grew even stronger.
Not only that.
Gu Qingfeng even suspected that perhaps as early as when he merged with that drop of Original Sin blood, he might have ceased to be himself, but had become the Original Sin body belonging to Venerable Wu Dao.
Otherwise, how could he have formed so many inexplicable karmic ties with so many people from the Wu Dao Era?
The events he had experienced over the years all made Gu Qingfeng suspect this.
"Old Monk, do you think the 'me' now is still the true me?"
"This old monk cannot answer that question."
"Why not?"
"This old monk does not know. No one knows. If there is anyone in this world who can answer that question, it would only be Layman Gu yourself."
"If I knew, I wouldn't be asking you."
After a moment, Gu Qingfeng said quietly, "Old Monk, you know what?
Back then, after the Great Calamity of antiquity, when I awoke in the Mortal World, I once encountered a Great Dao Flow. A Great Dao Seed inexplicably merged into my fleshly body."
"I clearly remember that Great Dao Seed said some things to me back then. It said they had discovered, they knew, and they were still looking for me."
"It also told me to be careful of the Suo People, the Jia Ye People, and the Mo He People..." "That Great Dao Seed also told me to be careful of Karma, and not to believe in Karma, for it was their trap."
"It also told me to be careful of my own previous life, not to believe in the previous life."
"Not only that, that Great Dao Seed also told me to be careful of myself, not to believe in myself..." "The Great Dao Seed said, I have as many previous lives as I have Karmic ties, and as many previous lives as I have selves."
"It told me not to believe, not to believe anyone."
"It also told me to find it, saying its back had me..." Gu Qingfeng closed his eyes, as if reminiscing, then continued, "Although this matter happened a long time ago, I have always remembered it clearly. Moreover, back then, I once asked you for guidance. I asked you, what are the Suo People, the Jia Ye People, the Mo He People? You answered that you did not know."
"I also asked you, so-called previous life Karma, how many previous lives can there be?
How many previous lives, how many selves—what did that mean?"
"You still answered that you did not know."
"I wonder if you, Old Monk, still remember this matter?"
The Old Monk replied, "This old monk remembers."
"You didn't answer me back then, not because you didn't know, but because you didn't want to say, right?"
"That is indeed the case."
"Why?"
"Back then, Layman Gu knew nothing of Wu Dao and had not yet embarked on this path of seeking Karma. This old monk did not wish for Layman Gu to set foot on this path, so I did not want to speak too much about matters of the Wu Dao Era."
"Back then, I truly knew nothing of Wu Dao. But now it's different. Not only have I embarked on this path, I've long since sunk into it, unable to get out."
"This old monk once advised Layman Gu not to seek Karma..."
"Enough, what's the point of saying this now? Besides, was the reason I embarked on this path back then because I was seeking Karma? That's not how it was at all!? I was born as a person of Original Sin, and then all sorts of Karma came one after another, unstoppable. In other words, ever since I was born, I've been a chess piece in a Karmic game. Whether I seek it or not, it's all the same. Even if I didn't seek it, Karma would damn come knocking on my door."
"Amitabha."
The Old Monk recited a Buddhist mantra and said no more.
"Don't be in a hurry to recite any Amitabha. First tell me, what's the deal with these Suo People, Jia Ye, Mo He?"
"Some matters are not that this old monk does not wish to speak, but that I cannot speak. I hope Layman Gu will understand and not force this old monk."
"Why can't you speak?"
The Old Monk recited another Amitabha, clearly unwilling to answer Gu Qingfeng's question.
"Are these damned Suo, Jia Ye, Mo He people from the Wu Dao Era? Are they some kind of taboo? Or are they some kind of Saint? Some kind of God from the Wu Dao Era?"
No matter what Gu Qingfeng said, the Old Monk remained silent.
It seemed.
The Old Monk was dead set on not answering this question.
In the end, Gu Qingfeng also gave up, saying, "Alright, if you won't say, I won't force you. However... What's the deal with so-called previous lives and present life, how many Karmic ties, how many selves, how many Ids, how many true selves? You could at least shed some light on this for me."