Xiao Jinr's words struck Gu Qingfeng's ears like a sudden enlightenment, causing his heart to jolt violently.
Truth be told.
As Gu Qingfeng pondered carefully, he realized that what she said actually made a hell of a lot of sense.
He had lived for half a lifetime, doing what he should and shouldn't have done, experiencing what he should and shouldn't have experienced. He had done it all, been through it all. Yet, he had never seriously pursued a romance, nor had he ever met a woman who stirred his heart. If he were to spend the rest of his life alone like this, dying without a beloved by his side... well, that would be a damn tragic thing indeed.
"Jin'er, it's not that your Big Brother doesn't want a passionate, earth-shattering romance. The key issue is, I haven't encountered a woman who makes my heart flutter. Who am I supposed to whisper sweet nothings to?"
"Has Big Brother truly never felt affection for any woman all these years?"
Gu Qingfeng thought and thought again, then shook his head. "Probably not. At least, I have no impression of it."
"Doesn't Big Brother find that strange?"
"Strange?"
Gu Qingfeng didn't understand. "What's so strange about that? In the myriad realms of the heavens, there are plenty of old bachelors who live their whole lives alone. I'm not the only one."
"Big Brother is different from them."
"What do you mean? Is it normal for others to be lifelong bachelors, but strange for your Big Brother to be one?"
"Being a lifelong bachelor doesn't mean those others never felt affection or never had a beloved. But has Big Brother ever felt such affection? Has he ever had a beloved?"
"This..." Gu Qingfeng was left speechless. He shook his head and smiled helplessly.
"Moreover, Jin'er knows that the Karma and fateful encounters in Big Brother's life are more numerous than anyone else's. And without exception, Big Brother's Karmic ties are all with legendary women of peerless beauty."
"Jin'er, you don't understand. Although I have many Karmic ties in this life, behind most of them lie secrets not meant for the light of day."
"So, because these so-called Karmic ties have ulterior motives behind them, Big Brother has always imprisoned his own heart?"
"Perhaps that's the reason."
Gu Qingfeng furrowed his brows. "Whether it is or isn't, I'm not entirely clear myself. It should be the case, yet it also seems not. I've never really thought about this question."
"Jin'er knows the Karma Big Brother has encountered in this life is very complex and chaotic. There may be Karma from the Daoless Age, Karma from the Illusory Self, Karma from the people of Original Sin, or perhaps Karma arranged by Fate, grafted Karma, and so on. Big Brother doesn't believe in Karma, never has from the start, because Big Brother doesn't know what secrets or purposes lie behind the Karmic encounters he meets along the way."
Gu Qingfeng looked at Xiao Jinr with astonishment, never having imagined that Xiao Jinr would even know about such matters.
"Big Brother remembers what Jin'er said earlier. Jin'er is no longer that ignorant little girl from before. Therefore, Jin'er knows many, many things. Especially concerning matters about Big Brother, Jin'er truly knows a great deal."
Perhaps sensing Gu Qingfeng's inner surprise, Xiao Jinr continued, "Big Brother, please don't ask questions yet. Let Jin'er finish speaking, alright?"
"Go on."
"First, Jin'er should apologize to Big Brother. Jin'er shouldn't have said Big Brother is an unfeeling, faithless person. Although the world says Big Brother is unfeeling and faithless, Jin'er knows that Big Brother is neither unfeeling nor faithless. Rather, Big Brother's circumstances force him to keep his distance from matters of the heart."
"The world says Big Brother is fickle and promiscuous. But who knows what purposes lie behind these so-called Karmic ties Big Brother encounters? Their hidden motives might even be to use matters of the heart to restrain Big Brother. If Big Brother truly developed feelings for one of these Karmic bonds, given Big Brother's nature, he would undoubtedly be swayed by those emotions."
"There's another important reason: Big Brother carries too many burdens. He has the Previous Life of the Daoless Age, the Illusory Self, and the Body of Original Sin. These existences could all cause Big Brother to lose his true self... Big Brother only wants to be his original self, not become anyone else. So, whether it's the Karma of the Daoless Age's Previous Life, the Karma of the Illusory Self, the Karma of the Body of Original Sin, or the Karma arranged by Fate, Big Brother will not accept any of it!"
"If Big Brother wishes not to lose himself, he has no choice but to keep his distance from Karma. And keeping his distance from Karma inevitably means keeping his distance from matters of the heart."
Xiao Jinr sat astride the white horse, speaking calmly and quietly.
At this moment, Xiao Jinr's clear eyes remained pure and transparent, but they no longer held the former innocence and naivety. Instead, they held only sincerity.
Opposite her.
Gu Qingfeng's brows were deeply furrowed as he stared at Xiao Jinr in astonishment. The more she spoke, the greater the shock within him grew, stirring up immense waves.
At first.
When Xiao Jinr said she knew many things, Gu Qingfeng hadn't paid it much mind. But he never expected Xiao Jinr to truly know so much.
If it were merely matters like Original Sin, Illusion, Karma, and Fate—all that messy stuff—it wouldn't have shocked Gu Qingfeng to this extent.
The truth was, everything Xiao Jinr said reflected his own inner thoughts. One could even say she had spoken straight from his heart.
Because this was exactly how he had conducted himself along his journey.
The facts were just as Xiao Jinr described. In this life, the Karma he encountered—whether it was Karma from his Daoless Age Previous Life, Karma from the Illusory Self, Karma from the Body of Original Sin, or Karma arranged by Fate—Gu Qingfeng didn't know, nor did he bother to investigate each one deeply.
Initially, he had completely rejected Karma. Later, although he didn't reject it outright, he still wouldn't accept it, choosing to keep his distance.
Only by keeping his distance could he maintain his true self and avoid becoming lost.
But how did Xiao Jinr come to know these things?
Could it be that Su Hua told her?
That didn't seem right either.
Even Su Hua might not know his innermost thoughts. How exactly did Xiao Jinr come to know them?
Could the appearance of the Blood Moon back then have affected Xiao Jinr so profoundly?
To the point of making her omniscient?
"Big Brother's attitude toward Karma evolved from complete rejection at first, to playing along while keeping his distance later, and now to letting things take their natural course. Is that right?"
This time, Gu Qingfeng was utterly stunned. He couldn't hold back any longer and asked, "You even know about this? Tell me honestly, how exactly do you know all these things?"
"Big Brother, you promised Jin'er you wouldn't ask."
"Damn it!"
Gu Qingfeng said helplessly, "Jin'er, you now know even my innermost thoughts clearly. Can't I at least ask about that?"
"Big Brother, please don't blame Jin'er. Jin'er cannot tell you. At least, not now."
"Why?"
"Big Brother, please don't ask anymore, alright?"